Last week, I was invited to an Instagram mini-podcast to talk about what is happiness. For me, the answer is simple: happiness is freedom. However, there are likely many different interpretations of freedom. In my twenties and thirties, freedom definitely meant a lot of money to me, because it gives you the feeling of being free. But in reality, money only provides the opportunity to experience one type of freedom – freedom in the material and external world. I know many people who have a lot of money, but all it allows them to do is escape from themselves in countless ways. For these people, I would even say that money takes them further away from freedom because they are not seeking liberation and contentment from within, but rather from external sources. When we feel bad about ourselves, it’s easy to drown out that feeling with a meal or a cocktail, or to buy something nice for ourselves. However, this experience only gives us a fleeting sense of happiness that soon fades, leaving behind only emptiness and pain, which become the predominant feelings in their lives.
For me, happiness is when I don’t need money, things, situations, or people to escape from myself. Because then true freedom arrives. If I wake up every morning with a sense of heaviness inside me, that’s not freedom, it’s a prison of which I am the guard of. Primarily, we are imprisoned by the lack of love and security experienced in our childhoods, which makes us feel lonely and isolated (even when we are in relationships), and life doesn’t feel safe for us. As I wrote in my previous article, our subconscious continues to create the reality with which we predominantly interact in our early years. That’s our programming time, and once programmed, it’s ready, and to change it, we must take significant steps to find ways to begin to change the reality we grew up with. In addition, our childhood experiences create filters through which we experience life going forward. If we’ve been hurt a lot, we can’t trust and we see every person who enters our lives through that filter. Even if they are actually trustworthy, our inner selves won’t allow us to trust them because our experiences so far prove otherwise, that the world is not a safe place and other people are not safe. And so we can never be happy because what we need and desire the most, love and security, remains out of reach for us. And no amount of money can compensate for that. Indeed, money provides the opportunity to embark on the journey of healing, but many still choose the path of using money to numb their pain.
I too went on this journey for a long time, and all the money that flowed into my life went into that immense empty hole inside me. That hole swallowed endlessly. It swallowed money, other people, things, food, alcohol, drugs, and experiences. Until one day, I reached a point where I felt that I couldn’t go on like this anymore. And then I started to search for the path to dissolve that emptiness and pain within me. And 9 years ago, my journey began, through which I have left behind much of that pain and emptiness. I am not perfect today, nor am I without pain, but with each passing year, I move closer to that place. My journey through my own wounds has also led me to explore the vastness of the universe, to understand why our lives are as they are today. And to seek different ways to move out of the programs of suffering.
Along this journey, I have discovered many things. For example, I’ve learned about the profound trauma caused by the immediate cutting of the umbilical cord after birth and our separation from the placenta. It’s not just a piece that helps us survive in the womb, but a very important part of us. And this separation needs to be a natural, time-taking process that gives us the opportunity to enter this world with a sense of security. Additionally, we need a connection to nature. Our placentas should be buried in the yard of our birth home and a mighty oak tree planted over it. This sends a signal to Mother Earth that we have arrived here and gives us the “right” to earthly life. We are no longer hanging in the air but have connected ourselves to this planet, which is the collective consciousness of humanity.
But I would like to share with you today and experiences I once had, where I felt one of the most powerful feelings of happiness I have ever experienced in my life. In the summer of 2010, I had the opportunity to go with my dear friends to an amazing event called Ting. Ting is a gathering of Nordic tribes that lasts exactly a month from the summer solstice. During this month, people live in one beautiful natural place for a month straight, living a life of simplicity, nature, and connection. This place is usually in such a natural setting that includes both forests and a body of water. For this month, a cozy environment is created there, with a kitchen area where meals are cooked and eaten together around a campfire twice a day. There is a sauna built by the water’s edge and teepees where various activities can take place. Our homes were tents. Everyone was free to do whatever they wanted at any given moment. You could sleep until your soul desired it. You could choose to do nothing that day or participate in the kitchen crew or help gather wood for the fire. If you wished, you could lead a workshop in one of the teepees. You could sit under a tree with a guitar and start singing, and soon there was a circle of people around you all singing along. You could engage in endless conversations with people you had never seen before, sitting, for example, naked on the sand. Food was served twice a day, and there was no specific time for any meal. During meal times, songs were sung, sharing and storytelling took place. Meals were prepared so that even raw foodists and strict vegans had their food available. Otherwise, the food was pure freshly prepared vegetarian food. Money collection took place after each meal, where a hat was passed around for contributions. I think I put in 5 euros a day at the time. But you could also choose not to contribute if you didn’t have it. Everything flowed freely and without restrictions. We had no clocks or electricity. This meant we didn’t have phones either. The toilet was in the woods, where specific trenches were dug for this purpose. After Ting ended, nature was always restored exactly as it was before people arrived there. Nothing was left behind or harmed the environment. Unfortunately, I could only be there for a week at that time. I met many wonderful people there, who later became good friends. But the feeling of happiness that I experienced after a week of being there, I had never experienced in my life before. You had no worries or obligations. You were surrounded by wonderful people all the time, and if you wanted, you could go and be alone with yourself and nature. On the last day when leaving, I also said in the sharing circle that I have so much love and gratitude in me today that it just overflows. And that love was not related to any other person but was a deep connection to nature, myself, and other people. Because there was no noise. A gathering like Ting provided a profound sense of joy and connection with nature and others. The simplicity of life, the freedom to be oneself, and the harmonious coexistence with the environment created an atmosphere of pure happiness and gratitude. Such moments of deep connection and serenity are truly precious and can leave lasting impacts on our lives. It’s beautiful to find immense love and gratitude within oursleves and be nurtured by the natural surroundings and the warmth of human connection.
Therefore, if we wish to move closer to happiness today, we must seek happiness in its purest sense. Men and women are structured in certain ways, and in order to feel happy, we need to return to our natural essence. I once thought about all those Instagram influencers who promote freedom through financial independence, because then you can travel around and buy everything your heart desires. But what happens if, for example, the financial system collapses or the cryptocurrency world crashes? Then these influencers are instantly poor, because true wealth and freedom lie in our ability to build a life that doesn’t require escaping from ourselves or needing money. Money can become a trap and a prison if you have a lot of it and you don’t create a life where you need more and more money. Unconsciously, they continue to “earn money,” and in reality, their freedom is just an illusion.
So what is happiness and freedom for me? It’s when I no longer carry pain, emptiness, and isolation within me. When I don’t have to “earn money” to feel those fleeting moments of happiness. When I have a home that belongs to me and the skills and opportunities to grow my own food. When I can wake up when my body is ready and when I have time to be there for my loved ones and friends. When I can raise my own children and don’t have to hand them over to the state because I don’t have time for them, as I’m earning money to provide them with a “happy” childhood, which in reality is far from happiness. I am happy when life is not a series of obligations and stress that leads us further away from ourselves. The anxiety that takes hold of us can never be completely suppressed if we don’t move towards such a life. True happiness lies in simple things and the simplicity of life.
With love,
Katrin
